


so i haven't touched a pretty thing in forty days

by sultrygoblin



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, F/M, Possibly Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:21:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25124587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sultrygoblin/pseuds/sultrygoblin
Summary: one shot - it wasn’t like they were together or anything. he had the waitress...right? so why was there this giant pit in his stomach?
Relationships: Charlie Kelly/Reader, Charlie Kelly/The Waitress (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia), Original Female Character/Original Male Character
Kudos: 15





	so i haven't touched a pretty thing in forty days

**Author's Note:**

> i hope this lives up to your jealous!charlie standards anon. in my head the guy is played by jason mantzoukas but you imagine whoever you want.

Charlie had really liked Axel at first. Frank bought weed from him but he was pretty sweet dude who knew his way around under the bridge. He’d come around occasionally and it didn’t seem like a big deal. Till the first time he’d shown up without being invited. Paddy’s was a bar after all so even then it still didn’t quite cross his mind that something had changed. It had taken a really long time honestly. Even when you opened the door that morning and he saw Axel, with his stupid beard and his flat stomach behind your shoulder he still didn’t quite know what he was feeling. Only that he didn’t like it. Thankfully there was rat bashing. By the end of it, he felt a bit better. Blaming it on his friend and his best friend not telling him something was happening. He might’ve kept believing it too.

* * *

Except he’s got your back pressed against the wall in the darkest corner of the bar and he’s kissing you like in that weird red shoe whatever show you’d been obsessed with in high school. In a way Charlie’s never going to be able to because he’s too short for that and his balance isn’t very good. Not to mention he’s never quite sure what to do with his tongue. None of these things are a problem for Axel it seems. Which shouldn’t matter to him. It doesn’t matter to him. He just really needs a drink. He’s gulped down half the bottle when Dennis finally rips it from him. More from a sense of monetary value than any worry over the man’s mental state.

“Charlie,” he sighs, finally accepting that there will be no moving on with the night until he gets telling his idiot friend exactly what he feels out of the way, “You ignored her for years. Of course, she’s going to move on. You don’t get to just decide you have feelings for her now.”

“I do not,” but by the looks of the rest of the gang they don’t believe him, “She’s my buddy.”

“Yeah,” Dee joined in, arms crossed, “Because your buddy is getting felt up over there like it’s senior prom.”

“SHUT UP!” smacking his hands over his mouth and widening his eyes. He took a few deep breaths through his nose before dropping them, “Just...what do we really know about this guy, y’know?”

It was Mac’s turn to jump in, “Dude, he’s your friend,” looking around and earning nods of agreement, “It’s alright man. I’d be pretty pissed if I was losing out to a good looking guy like that.”

“It’s the beard,” all of them agreeing once more as they each gestured to their chin in one way or another, “Look, so you missed out. At least you kinda got the Waitress, right?”

“He’s got a point there,” Dennis agreed, his smile faltering, “A shrill, alcoholic who makes everyone around her miserable.”

The was a long bout of silence as everyone watched the two paw at each other of Charlie’s shoulder. His face beginning to grow hot. The worst feeling in the world filled his stomach, like there was this giant pit and he was completely hollow. And all there was to fill it with is anger. 

“You really missed out, Charlie,” Dee breaks the silence.

Frank hums, “For once, I agree with Dee.”

“If only to keep that horrible, horrible woman away from here,” making very clear once again that his choices had very little to do with his friend’s well being.

“And also because they’re going to be doing that a lot,” Mac was quick to jump in pointing over his shoulder, “Which I don’t know how cool you’re going to be with that.”

“It’s like way too hot, right?” the conversation taking a quick turn that finally broke the camel’s back.

Whatever the hell that meant. He assumes some sort of snap but he’s slammed a stool and kicked over a chair. So it really doesn’t matter at this point. What does is that the two of you have finally joined the group with no idea what’s been going on. Of course, your first instinct is to step in, grabbing his face to force his eyes to yours. Except he just thinks about how you must’ve done that. And how his stubble would clearly hurt your hands, unlike Axel’s stupid perfect beard. How? How was it possible for a beard to look that good?

“Don’t touch me!” he jumps backward and you stop. 

Everyone does, “Charlie, I just-”

“Well, don’t just, alright! Just-” he shakes his head, “LEAVE ME ALONE!” running out the door with a speed no one had seen him reach since high school and are surprised there aren’t smoke trails.

“What was that about?” Axel is the first to break the silence after everyone has had a few sips of newly passed around beers, “What did I miss?”

You roll your eyes, wrapping your arm around his waist, and shrugging, “Who knows?” which he buys but the others know you well enough to wonder, “You guys cool if I head out early?”

“Which reminds me, we gotta stop at the hardware store on the way. The table...”

Which earned a chorus of disgusted noise and orders to leave. Which you did with very little argument, wrapped around each other as you headed down the street. He hadn’t expected you to leave together. He’d expected you to come after him. It’s what you always used to do. Put him first. He shoved his hands in his pockets, kicking the ground and heaving a long breath. Maybe he should’ve spent more time putting you first.


End file.
